Perfectionism

             Little details catch my eye. Tiny mistakes raise alarm. Where other people might view fine details in a project as trivial and unimportant, I pay painstaking attention to each and every detail and expend time and effort to make sure every one of them is in perfect order. To be clear, I don’t have obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) – and maybe the description of my attention to detail above might be slightly exaggerated... But I definitely must say that I'm a perfectionist, wanting to make every effort a flawless one whenever I can.

              I have been given several roles in ministry where my perfectionist eye is put to much use. For example, in my writing I try to choose each word carefully with my nose in an open thesaurus, also rereading each line twice or thrice to make sure it has a nice ring to it. When designing graphics (e.g. posters, bookmarks, flyers), the position of each component on the screen must be correct to the pixel, the background must be just the right colour intensity and the letters in a word must be a perfect distance from one another. To be very clear here – I am not boasting in being a perfectionist. I don’t think perfectionism in itself is commendable. While perfectionism has tremendous strengths, I think that as Godly people wanting to offer ourselves as “living sacrifices holy and pleasing to God”, we should honestly evaluate how “holy and pleasing” our exercise of perfectionism – and any other personal trait for the matter – is.

              If left unchecked, having such a thirst for perfection can be a huge burden, especially in ministry. I have definitely experienced the effects of perfectionism weighing me down before. I have also seen others who exercise their perfectionism and are perpetually vexed and stressed out about details. Truly, if left unchecked, perfectionism in overdrive can be like a free man fettering himself at his feet, dragging these heavy chains around unnecessarily and making a huge ruckus through the ear-splitting sound of rusty metal against the floor. He burdens himself, and also burdens others around him. Is that an ugly, repulsive image to you? It surely is. And that’s what perfectionism without moderation can look like.

              But as with all personality traits, there’s the other side of the coin – namely the strengths and usefulness of perfectionism. Perfectionism is important and useful in any work. It’s the value of being extremely meticulous, having an eye for detail and a sensitive radar detecting every mistake. A perfectionist will plan and execute an event or new implementation which is nothing short of flawless, and will design and print a publication or poster which tastefully catches the eye and has every graphic detail in place. A perfectionist will take into account small yet important details that others may dismiss as trivial. And so a perfectionist would play an important role in every project in church.

              Often perfectionists are viewed as intolerant people. But there are intolerant people everywhere, and I wouldn’t say all perfectionists are intolerant; I know many perfectionist friends who are tolerant, accommodating and not unnecessarily critical. Perfectionists are often told that they are taking the details too seriously, that they are not entrusting the details to God’s hands, and that they miss the bigger picture… While there are times when this may be true, we can’t say every perfectionist falls into this category of people who have missed the point of ministry. When God commanded Moses to build the tabernacle, it wasn’t any ordinary building with whatever dimensions he liked, whatever coloured curtains, plain or patterned, with as many loops and bases as it takes… No. God commanded exact numbers for each component of the tabernacle, and even commanded the Israelites to follow His instruction for colour, design and material.  God appreciates perfectionism. He appreciates those who put effort into every detail and try to make each detail as perfect and pleasing to God as possible.

              So if you are a perfectionist, know that it is a desirable trait which can be extremely useful in ministry! God does notice when details are in order. When we expend time and effort because we want our offering of service to God to be made as wholeheartedly as possible, and we want our service to the church to be as effective as possible, God notices. But remember that this perfectionism is only desirable in ministry if it is rooted in a heart that desires to give God the best of the fruits of your labour, out of worship, honour and thanksgiving, not simply to please my fleshly thirst for perfection or to sleep well at night patting my own back for good honourable work that exalts the self.

So as you can see, perfectionism can indeed be faulty as much as it can be desirable. Let’s look at a few things that would help us keep perfectionism in check in a God-honouring way. We’ll start by taking a look at some ‘hidden traps’ in perfectionism we might fall into if we’re not careful.

1. Imposing my standard of perfection on other people

Everyone has different standards of perfection. Don’t look down on people who are not perfectionists (or who are perfectionists to a smaller degree) because my standard of perfection may be irrationally or unnecessarily high to others. If I were to impose my views on others, that would have several ugly effects:

(a) I could be tempted to be judgmental and critical.

In Matthew 7:1-2 it says – “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” God harshly warns judgmental people to evaluate their judgment and humbly remember that we are all truly imperfect recipients of God’s grace, with no right to judge one another. I must also remember that when Jesus says “the measure you use”, He is not referring to my standard of material perfection (e.g. KPI’s or zero typos in my writing). I cannot say that if I judge a friend for overlooking a spelling error in her writing while I make no mistake in my own work, I am released from this judgment because I will not be at fault in this “measure”. The “measure” used here is not material detail. Instead, it is the sin of imposing my own views on others in an unfair way. If I were to judge others for not following my perfectionist preferences, in the same way I could be judged for preferring to be introverted rather than extroverted. The fault here is in judging others by my own preferences, and if I would not have others judge me when their preferences don’t match mine, I should refrain from judging others in that way too.

(b) I may become unkind in my interactions with others.

Washed away in the currents of my perfectionist mind, I may forget to be kind and caring in the way I work with others in my ministry team. I have known perfectionists who make scathing and discouraging remarks to others, or about them behind their back, because their work does not meet their own standard of flawlessness. This is a very unkind and intolerant thing to do, and it is definitely inconsistent with the Bible’s teachings, for “kindness” is a fruit of the Spirit.

2. Paying more attention to material perfection than spiritual perfection

In Romans 12:1 Paul urges us to “offer (our) bodies as living sacrifices holy and pleasing to God”. He does not talk about making no error in our work and having every ministry effort absolutely flawless. Instead, he emphasises that we must be “holy and pleasing to God” – this is a matter of spiritual perfection, not of material perfection. While we know that by ourselves we cannot be spiritually perfect, and as long as we reside on earth we are still flawed (because sanctification is only complete once we’ve finished the race!), we still try our hardest to follow God’s commands. This means bowing in humility to God, letting go of my own pride, learning to forgive others seventy times seven times, loving my neighbours as selflessly as possible, and most of all seeking to know and to love God more and more each day. This spiritual pursuit is the one of greater importance compared to a pursuit of material perfection.

When I sacrifice time and effort for God in His service, I put this offering of service on the altar for the LORD. He does see how materially perfect the offering is (e.g. He sees when a song is played with no mistake in rhythm or note), but more than that, He sees the heart of the giver. A selfish & egoistic heart would taint and defile the offering, no matter how orderly its details are. If I were to put a perfectly written piece of work on the altar, offering it to God to use for His purposes in encouraging others, but my heart actually seeks credit and earthly honour above all, then I might as well not put the offering on the altar. “The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7. In the same way that Eliab seemed perfect in his appearance and his height, my offering of service may seem perfect down to its finest details. While human eyes may see my work as simply perfect, the LORD looks upon my heart and sees for Himself the matter of greater importance: my spiritual state.

Thus, to keep perfectionism in moderation, we must take care to keep our priorities right. Spiritual pursuits are more important than material pursuits.

All things considered, I personally believe perfectionism is a personality trait that is, as other traits are, a gift from God. All of us in the body of Christ are diverse, with varying traits. The matter of great importance, therefore, is for us to try and complement each other, recognising each other’s strengths and seeking to “honour one another above ourselves” (Romans 12:10). So, to all my fellow perfectionists out there, I encourage all of us to personally evaluate ourselves and make sure we are honouring God with our efforts by being tolerant, kind, forgiving and more focused on God than on material details. And to those who pay less attention to details and often have perfectionists getting on your nerves, try to be accommodating and remember that all of us are equally important members of the body of Christ, with different personalities, strengths & weaknesses as divinely determined by the LORD.